audiobook narration

“The Future Belongs to Those Who Believe in the Beauty of Their Dreams” – Eleanor Roosevelt

I %100 did not meet my goal of getting a journal post up last week. Oops. I have a good excuse though, promise.

Okay, so, first thing’s first: I have now finished two novel narrations. The first is past the author/publisher’s checks and now it’s on to Audible approval. I should hear back (hopefully) soon. I’ll put the link to it up here, but it’s the billionaire romance so I don’t expect anyone that follows me to actually read (listen to) it. It’s cool, don’t worry about it.

The second is an urban fantasy and that one was really fun to narrate. I got to try out some silly accents, it had a nice range of emotions and style choices, and bonus! The story is kind of fun! It got a little harry there for about a week because I got behind and didn’t have the time I thought I would to record. Well, actually, recording is the easy part. After I record all the chapters, I have to go back through and cut out all my bloopers and that takes FOREVER. Then I have to do a third pass, reading along as I listen to make sure it’s accurate to the actual text. If I’ve messed up a phrase, or flubbed a word or something, I have to go back, record that piece again, and then splice it into the final cut. Waaahh, such a long process! But I did it. I turned it in on the due date and it’s waiting approval now.

I’m trying not to be nervous about it, but there is so much in there, and so many voices and accents they might not like? Bluuuh. Oh well, nothing to do but turn my energies on the next one. This third novel is a drama/military/tragedy and wooaaa it’s heavy. I also have to do it all in a southern accent. It’s not actually that hard, the hardest part is going back to talking normal once I’ve left the studio haha.

All in all I’m loving it. There are so many weird things I wouldn’t have thought of before starting this whole thing. Like, for example, I think Rule Number One of audio narration should be ALWAYS HAVE CHAPSTICK ON HAND. It’s a must, otherwise when your mouth begins to dry up – and it will – your lips start to click and it’s Super Loud on the microphone. Random huh? But good to know.

Also, Jesus Christ AIRPLANES. I forgot I live next to an airport! How many freaking planes fly over my house per hour?? SIX! SIX PLANES AN HOUR!! …It’s cool though, it’s cool. It’s only in the afternoon. Someday I’ll live somewhere quiet and I’ll have an actual studio office with soundproofing…. … someday.

In other news, I’ve also submitted my writing for the Norwescon Writer’s Workshop. I almost didn’t, having had a not-so-great-experience last year. (Maybe I’ll talk about that later bluh.) However, the workshop is where I met my current writer’s group, and I’ve already made so many good connections through the process that it would be irresponsible of me not to try and do it again. I submitted the first chapter of my horror/thriller+superheros novel, so that should be fun. If I make it in, I hope everyone gives me the “superhero trend is dying out” speech so I can punch them. Not really. But maybe.

Okay, I think that’s all the major things that have happened in the past few months. I hope everyone is doing well, and that things are looking up for you in this new year. If you ever feel lonely or need someone to talk to about… well, anything, but mostly nerdy stuff, hit me up. I am down for feelings jams, especially if we get to scream about anime or awesome tv shows or something.

Love your pets, be nice to people, and have a good one!

“For Every Job That Must Be Done, There Is An Element Of Fun” – Mary Poppins

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I haven’t been keeping up to date on this blog, and I really should be because a lot has happened the last month.

First, I finished my novel. My dumb apocalypse adventure with land pirates, cute gay boys, and a dash of zombies. I’m not super happy with how it turned out, but I am happy that I finished it. Sometimes just finishing something is good. It felt great for about an hour and a half but then I was staring into the big black void of having nothing to work on and started freaking out. (That is complete bullshit by the way, I have a million things I could be working on. I was just having a very silly existential crisis.) Luckily one of my writing friends got back to me already with her very spot on critique and I have plenty to think about again. (I’m obviously not happy unless I have a bunch of shit in my head.) All her points were things I was already uneasy about, so at least there’s that. And the bones of the story seem to work. Hooray. I’ll let everything marinate for a few days and then get back to it. Try and work some new things in there and cut out all the broken stuff. It’ll be done someday. I swear.

Second, I landed another audition!

Hold on, back up. So when I auditioned that first time, I auditioned for seven different things. I got the erotic novel like I said in my previous post, but thought I bombed the rest because none of the others got back to me. Well it just took a while because the one I really wanted responded! And it’s actually an author from around here! The book is an urban fantasy about these people that go around breaking hexes. What I read for the audition was funny and sounded really fun. (Also it’s published through an actual publisher and has actually been edited, so that’s nice.)

So, long story long as usual, husband’s clothes are all in plastic containers around the room because the closet is now my studio. I bought a nice stool and hung blankets on the wall and inside the doors. I already had a good mic and I just use Audacity for the recording software since it’s a free download. I spend a couple hours a day reading things, and then try and find another five or six hours to do editing.

Seriously, fuck editing.

But for real, it’s super fun. I’m actually doing the two things I’ve always dreamed of doing professionally: writing and voice acting. It’s surreal. Hopefully, once I get a few novels under my belt I can start auditioning for bigger titles. I’m still not sure how a lot of it works, but I’ll figure it out. I’ll get there.

I see fortune and glory on the horizon, kids. Not even joking.

I hope everyone is doing okay. We live in strange times but we will get through it. And hey, if we’re still quarantining in six months you can download me reading about billionaires getting with cute yoga instructors or magic police chasing around dudes using illegal hexes. I mean, why not?

Oh, before I go, I’m starting this thing where at the end of my posts I recommend some stuff. Here it goes.

“Virgin River” on Netflix. It looks like your average run-of-the-mill cutesy romance about a city girl coming to a small town and falling for the bartender, (and well, yeah it’s that too) but there is some heavy shit going on in this show. It still has a few of the tropes that annoy me about straight romance, but the issues they deal with need to be utilized more. Also, the characters are pretty likable at about episode three.

I started reading the “Tyack & Frayne” series. It’s a bunch of novella length books set in Cornwall, England. It’s just a bunch of cozy mysteries with a touch of the supernatural centering around Frayne, who’s a copper, and Tyack, who’s a psychic. They solve crimes together and fall in love and it’s wonderful. The book I’m on now they just got married.

“Tenet” comes to DVD on December 15th. Watch that shit. Just fucking do it.

Well, that’s all I think. I’ll leave you now to go watch and read good shit. As usual, pet your pets, be nice to people, and for the love of god wear a mask.

Have a good one!

“What sense I had just took her panties off and laid down in front of him.” ― Tiffany Reisz, Submit to Desire

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I tried to find the silliest quote for the title of this entry, and well… there you go. You may be wondering why I have a quote from an erotic novel as my title, so let me explain:

I am now in talks for a contract to narrate an erotic novel. Yup.

Last week I decided to find out how audiobook narrators found jobs and stumbled across a site where you can make a profile and put up voice samples and search books looking for narrators. I did some research to see if the site was legit and the internet was basically in agreement that it was, so I went for it.

I found a couple of my favorite narrators and modeled my profile after theirs, then hit up my brother in law to see if I could use his studio. My bro in law is a musician and choral director and he runs a business recording and mixing audio for the schools in the area so kids can still have their music education during the pandemic. It’s pretty awesome. Anyway, his studio is cool, it’s just in his house, so I went over and recorded some samples and a few auditions for some books. It took about four hours, which really isn’t that bad considering I’ve done eight to ten hour stretches in a studio back when I was doing music.

Long story long, I uploaded my samples to my profile and submitted my auditions. I didn’t think anything would come from it actually, I just wanted to get myself out there.

But then Tuesday morning I had an offer for an audition. Not one I had submitted for, but someone random coming to me. They had listened to my samples and wanted to offer me a chance to audition for their book. It’s a psychology book about anxiety in relationships. So of course I said hell yeah and got the info.

BUT THEN I got an email responding to one of my auditions! I got the job! They are interested! Yessss!

Quick note: it was the only erotic novel in the stack of auditions. I mean, of course it was.

I don’t feel weird about it, it’s acting. It’s a job. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do. I need to build up a portfolio and romance is probably the way to do it quickly so…

I’m super excited. I’ll post the details once everything is done. Maybe link some stuff and you can check it out if you want. Or not because would that be weird? Meh, whatever.

I hope everyone has a good holiday. I’m not real big into Thanksgiving, considering the history and all, but I do like food? I also don’t really like Christmas but oh well. I will just concentrate on narrating and finishing this YA novel and not gaining 20lbs before the end of the year.

Peace out. Pet your pets. Have a good one.