November 2020 – Sam Stark

I tried to find the silliest quote for the title of this entry, and well… there you go. You may be wondering why I have a quote from an erotic novel as my title, so let me explain:

I am now in talks for a contract to narrate an erotic novel. Yup.

Last week I decided to find out how audiobook narrators found jobs and stumbled across a site where you can make a profile and put up voice samples and search books looking for narrators. I did some research to see if the site was legit and the internet was basically in agreement that it was, so I went for it.

I found a couple of my favorite narrators and modeled my profile after theirs, then hit up my brother in law to see if I could use his studio. My bro in law is a musician and choral director and he runs a business recording and mixing audio for the schools in the area so kids can still have their music education during the pandemic. It’s pretty awesome. Anyway, his studio is cool, it’s just in his house, so I went over and recorded some samples and a few auditions for some books. It took about four hours, which really isn’t that bad considering I’ve done eight to ten hour stretches in a studio back when I was doing music.

Long story long, I uploaded my samples to my profile and submitted my auditions. I didn’t think anything would come from it actually, I just wanted to get myself out there.

But then Tuesday morning I had an offer for an audition. Not one I had submitted for, but someone random coming to me. They had listened to my samples and wanted to offer me a chance to audition for their book. It’s a psychology book about anxiety in relationships. So of course I said hell yeah and got the info.

BUT THEN I got an email responding to one of my auditions! I got the job! They are interested! Yessss!

Quick note: it was the only erotic novel in the stack of auditions. I mean, of course it was.

I don’t feel weird about it, it’s acting. It’s a job. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do. I need to build up a portfolio and romance is probably the way to do it quickly so…

I’m super excited. I’ll post the details once everything is done. Maybe link some stuff and you can check it out if you want. Or not because would that be weird? Meh, whatever.

I hope everyone has a good holiday. I’m not real big into Thanksgiving, considering the history and all, but I do like food? I also don’t really like Christmas but oh well. I will just concentrate on narrating and finishing this YA novel and not gaining 20lbs before the end of the year.

Peace out. Pet your pets. Have a good one.

I’ve been having some nerdy thoughts about supernatural lore. (Not the tv show, otherwise I would have capitalized it, obviously.) Well, now that I think about it Supernatural would be included, but it’s not what I’m focusing on. I’m thinking more generalized lore.

Let me preface this with a little backstory: I’ve been reading a lot (please read that as “shit ton”) of urban fantasy lately, which I admit goes a little off brand for me as I kind of hate most of the UF out there. I hate a lot of the tropes – i.e. the young and gorgeous heroin doesn’t have any self worth until she finds her true love because self worth is apparently wrapped up in how the boy sees her, OR the young and beautiful hero/heroin is special and the only one in the universe that can save the world and that somehow makes them a total twat about everything. The wining, winging, complaining, and crippling self-doubt finally turns them into a big enough asshole that I don’t want to read the rest of the story. Let it all burn because I just want the protagonist to die is not a great feeling to have three quarters of the way through a book.

However, there is a contingent of UF out in the universe that is just. fucking. great. I’ve noticed that it’s mostly queer, and that’s cool, sort of weird that’s a correlation but whatever. UF usually has amazing universes and some have really cool plot devices, so if the characters are cool, the books/series/show is usually cool too.

I fell down a deep, dark werewolf/shifter hole last month and couldn’t climb out for a few weeks. Werewolf stuff is pretty cool because there’s so much going on with pack and smell and bonds so there’s a lot of stuff you can do with miscommunication. Found family stories and stories with strong familial bonds are my jam anyway. Straight dudes rubbing up on other straight dudes because they’re basically canines is also my jam too but I digress.

So, I’ve been thinking about supernatural creatures with regenerative properties verses healing properties. I noticed in all the werewolf and shifter stories I read, the werewolves get injured like shot or stabbed or whatever, and unless the wound was inflicted by something silver, they heal over, gone without a trace. This is the same for all the vampire stuff I’ve seen too, wounds heal and disappear like there was never anything there.

Vampires I can understand. They’re kind of demonic I guess? Undead in their own special way? Or something? So I assume complete regeneration would be in the cards for them. (I’m not going to think too hard because there’s zombies and revenants and other undead things that are reanimated and they don’t heal – omg my brain.)

But werewolves and shifters are interesting. Do they regenerate? Or are they super healing? I guess it depends on the lore. Are they basically humans sharing a body with an animal soul? Or is it more curse/magic based and they, like vampires, regenerate?

I think this all kicked off when I was thinking about if a werewolf could get a tattoo. Would the body regen to the point where it pushed the ink out? Or would they just super heal as the tattoo was being drawn? (Man, wouldn’t that be awesome?)

I probably need to make the differences clear. Regeneration is when the wound or injury would reverse. Like it would go back in time or un-injure. A knife wound would close backwards, leaving no marks because the skin and tissue completely regenerates. All cells and blood and everything is restored. Supernatural healing is pretty self explanatory: the would heals haha. Everything works the same as it would with a regular human, it’s just sped up. The tissue and muscle and all that would knit back together and it would leave a mark/scar. And it would be tender for a while.

Now, why do werewolves and shifters heal without a trace in most media? To me it doesn’t seem right that they regenerate, since I don’t feel like shifters are in the same supernatural category as a vampire. Shouldn’t they have super healing? Shouldn’t shifters and werewolves heal real fast and then be left with a badass scar? Why isn’t this a thing? Is it a thing? Why isn’t this a thing more often?

I think werewolves should have scars and tattoos. Is that just me?

Hope everyone is having a w o n d e r f u l election season. Pet your animals, love your family and friends unless they’re terrible assholes, then love them anyway but stay away from them. Be kind. Have a good week.